Monday, November 9, 2009

First draft of my story

OK, everyone, here is my first line.  Feel free to suggest possible edits.

Yesterday, while at Jang Mountain, in Busan, I saw two girls who were playing in the stream.  I saw that a flood was coming so I ran for the girls like a lightning to push them out of the way but the brave act cost me being taken by the foaming rushing water!

8 comments:

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  2. I saw that a flood was coming so I ran for the girls like a lightning to push them out of the way but the brave act cost me being taken by the foaming rushing water!

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  3. when i woke up i was in the hospital and the girls were laughing in front of me.

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  4. When I asked them why they were laughing at me, they said I looked very funny.

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  5. they fell inside the stream and "DIED!!"

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  6. I had cast all over my head in a funny way. I stand up and went to the bath room quikly because I was busting.

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  7. I was almost pee on my pants...

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  8. Fortunately, I didn't pee in my pants. I came back to the bed and the girls laughed so hard that they almost cried. I asked what the matter was, and one of the girls pointed at my pants and said, "You forgot to put your pants up!" I looked down, and I saw that I didn't even put up my pants! Unfortunately, my underwear was the wonder woman's one!

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